Diligently solving the first world problems of the inhabitants of the inner-west.

    Pete I finally got around to clearing out my freezer this week and came across some old pastry sheets. They looked OK, but there was no packaging so I couldn’t tell if they were puff or shortcrust as they look the same. What to do?

    Sharon, Spotswood (via email)

    Wow, being in lockdown is terrible for first world problems, isn’t it Sharon? I think we need people out there again ASAP, so you guys can interact, annoy the hell out of each other, and get back to telling me what’s really bothering you. Lockdown 6.0 feels like the usual outrage has just been replaced by some kind of floating, benign state of resignation. Get angry again people! Anyway where were we? Oh yeah, pastry. Well I guess they could change the colours so we would know which was which. Like in the old Westerns – the good guy wore white, and the bad guy wore black. So there you have it, the pastry companies should make one of their products black. But which one? Which one is bad for you? Filo is probably OK. Shortcrust sounds pretty inoffensive. Tell you what, I’m going with Puff. Let’s start a hashtag Sharon – #makepuffblack!

    Pete while we are in lockdown as you know we are only allowed out for 2 hours a day exercise. I get why, we need to beat this thing, but the other day it literally rained all day, making any time outside impossible. It stopped finally when it got dark – but what’s the point in going out in that? I feel like the government owes me 2 hours!

    Simon, Newport (via Facebook Messenger)

    Simon I feel like you owe me 12 seconds. So firstly, don’t try and tell me you have always been out there for 2 hours every day exercising, we know it ‘aint so. If you’re anything like me, you’re probably actually exercising more in lockdown than you would otherwise. Think about it – it’s a long way from here in front of my typewriter to the fridge and/or booze cabinet, and it adds up to a lot of friggin’ steps I can tell you!  

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