ASK PETE – YOUR FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS SOLVED!

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Diligently solving the first world problems of the inhabitants of the inner-west.

Pete I have worked from home for about 6 years but now that everyone else is at home it’s just never ending issues; the kitchen is crowded and messy, the power bill has gone up, we keep running out of coffee beans, the best leftovers disappear from the fridge, and the NBN doesn’t work. I was here first dammit – now I just dread every day!

Shaun, West Footscray (via Facebook)

So what you’re telling me is that you’re Shaun of the… Dread? Replace Zombies with Zoom and I bet I’m not far off! Actually I feel your pain Shaun, some of my colleagues are putting very little effort into their appearance for our Zoom chats; ragged clothing, tousled hair, moaning all the time and even drooling a bit. These meetings are starting to look like the Zombie mosh pit outside the front of the Winchester! But seriously Shaun you poor petal, if it’s a return to reality you’re after, why don’t we take away your job, your security, and put all your hopes, plans and dreams on hold like everyone else on Earth! Next!


Pete on my evening walk the other night I noticed a family come out of a house and then walk a few doors down and go into what I assume was their own house. Mum, Dad and three kids. They were all laughing like it was a big joke rather than a pandemic. Shameless and irresponsible. I thought about calling the police – should I have?

Sharon, Williamstown North (via email)

Whoa there Sharon! You did the right thing in not calling the police but instead telling me! What are the police going to do – give them a huge fine then pour scorn on them? Of course not! And while I can’t issue fines for poor social etiquette – believe me I’ve tried – I can however pour scorn like it’s going out of style! So hold on to your hat – lets do that now! There could have been many reasons why this happened; they may not have been aware of the COVID-19 situation, or they could have had special exemption – maybe they were a family of emergency tradies, or even Hillsong members? Were the kids carrying tools or clapping? Ah let’s face it, there’s no hiding from the truth Sharon, as the old saying goes, if it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck… they were just a bunch of selfish jerks! Satisfied?

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