ASK PETE – YOUR FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS SOLVED!

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We have been living this lockdown life for a while now and just when I thought I had seen and heard it all with Zoom meetings a new annoyance has made a loud appearance. My boss has recently acquired a new pet…not a cute puppy or kitten but a budgie. It does not offer any melodic tune but rather intermittent high-pitched screeches. On occasion, it sounds as though it is close to death as it produces something like rapid-fire machine-gun vocals. Very unprofessional. How can I tell my boss he needs to be rid of this nuisance?

Jessica, Kingsville (via Facebook Messenger)

I understand that this must be painful for you Jessica – no one remembers who you are in meetings but they will remember the bird? Do you feel as though a small creature is outshining you? If this is your concern, maybe start shouting and see how that is received. Leave your boss to his small but loud quirks in his old age. (And if that doesn’t work, skip the boss and next time just Zoom the bird direct, and teach him a bunch of swear words!)


Help me Pete, I don’t know what to do. My friend’s birthday is soon and they are insisting I make them a cake. For the last two years, I have promised to make their cake but sadly the oven was not my friend, and they ended up burnt, and in the bin (it’s the thought that counts right?). I don’t know if the friendship will survive another burnt cake. Should I just give up?

Jennifer, Williamstown (email)

Jennifer what kind of friend demands a cake!? Pffft, what am I talking about, cake is the way to score brownie points around these parts – double points if you actually produce brownies! In the meantime let’s discuss the gift that never was. It is not the thought that counts but rather the delivery on a promise. I think your friend deserves not one but three cakes! I suggest you start watching those YouTube cooking shows, get back in the kitchen and start baking!

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