Diligently solving the first world problems of the inhabitants of the inner-west.

    Pete this might seem stupid but to me it’s a big deal. I ordered a burger with the lot at my local fish and chip shop, they then asked me if I wanted pineapple and beetroot for an extra $2. Clearly the offering was NOT for a burger with “the lot”. False advertising, or does my chipper just not understand their own products!

    Simon, Newport (via Email)

    Not a stupid question at all Simon, I too am often left suitably confused by the offerings of my local fryer. I mean, apart from the misnomer of the phrase “minimum chips” which clearly, if adhered to the letter would result in the sale and purchase of one single chip – let’s face it you can’t get any fewer than that – I’ve also noticed they also sell something called “Crab stick” when clearly crabs have no such appendage. But anyway Simon, when it comes to a so-called burger with the lot, I guess it’s just another practical reminder that there must be distinct and sensible boundaries in the food industry, otherwise your burger technically would come with beef, egg, cheese, onion, tomato and lettuce – as you would expect – but also they’d have to include everything else they sold, in order to qualify as “the lot”. Just try to picture a burger with a dim sim, battered sausage, fake calamari ring, potato cake, and piece of flake all crammed in as well. I can hear your arteries hardening from here!

    I feel a bit bad about this, but recently I put an old suitcase from my garage onto our nature strip as a freebie, a bit dusty, but basically OK. Just as I zipped it up I noticed a redback spider crawl out from under the handle and into one of the compartments. Guiltily, I still put the case out, and by morning it was gone. Am I a bad person Pete?

    Jonathon, Seddon (via Facebook Messenger)

    Jonathon I am a firm believer in caveat emptor. Partly because saying it allows me to show off my Latin, but also because it means “buyer beware” or in this case, scavenger beware! We all know that nature-strips are the neighbourhood “free zone”, but nowhere does it say they are a guaranteed bug-free zone! Let potential scroungers do their due diligence on your crusty old portmanteau (a fancy French word for luggage) and thereafter “quis erit, erit” – what will be, will be. Sleep well dear Jonathon…

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