The Language of Love
    By Mark Brophy


    What’s wrong?




    Why are you upset?


    What makes you think I’m upset?


    You seem upset.


    Oh. Really.


    So, are you upset?






    I just am.


    Is it something I’ve done?


    It always has to be about you, doesn’t it?


    I’m just asking. Did I do anything wrong?


    Well, did you?


    I don’t know, did I?


    Do you think you did anything wrong?


    Well, if I did, what was it?


    If you did anything wrong, you would know about it, wouldn’t you?


    I don’t know!


    That’s the problem, even if you do something wrong, you don’t even know.


    How would I know if I’ve done something wrong?


    You should know if you’ve done anything wrong.




    Because most normal people know when they’ve done something wrong.


    So, I have done something wrong then?




    And I’ve upset you.




    What did I do?


    You know what you did.


    No, I don’t.


    You should know what you did?


    How should I know what I did wrong, when I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong?


    That’s the problem right there. You are an idiot. You can’t even see the mistakes you make. I’m not here to point out the obvious to you.




    Wanna go see a movie?






    OK. I’m sorry.


    Sorry for what?


    Sorry for upsetting you.


    How can you be sorry for something you don’t even know you did?


    Can’t I be sorry for just upsetting you?


    No. Sorry means you won’t do it again. So how can you be sorry for something that I know you will do again?



    Can you please just tell me what I did?


    OK. But you shouldn’t have this spelt out to you like a child.


    So, what was it?


    You flirted with that woman.


    What woman?


    Are you serious? The waitress you fool.


    I did not!


    Asking if she could bring some extra buns with your meal and that stupid smirk on your face. You really think that’s attractive?


    I was just mucking around!


    How do you think I feel, having to witness and listen to this bullshit?


    It was a joke!


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