By Nick Bikeman
For years real estate agents have been spruiking Footscray as the next big thing, and in a roundabout way, I agree with them. It’s time for the neighbourhood to embrace its own “Big Thing”, a giant purpose-built, sculptured object that encapsulates the quintessential nature of who we are as a community living here in Footscray.
To outsiders, we are Footscrazy or Foot-tis-grey, the unwitting crime-ridden, drug-addled, poster child for inner city decay, while at the same time somehow masquerading as a funky bar-hopping hipster hotspot, where big spending foodies shell out thousands on an exclusive Japanese dining experience, whilst the hungry and homeless doss down in doorways. But is this who we really are?
Erecting a Big Thing might just be a clever way of pushing back against a commonly held view that applauds creeping gentrification, property speculation, and land banking as pragmatic market-driven solutions for the community’s overhyped social problems by effectively pricing poorer people out of the area.
Big Things are big business, bringing in millions of dollars, thousands of tourists and hundreds of jobs. Think of the Big Pineapple or Big Banana, two of the most recognised of the 600 or more big things dotted around the country. Big Things inspire a creative, whimsical take on gigantism. Transforming the exaggerated size of a structure into something else entirely, evoking a thoughtful, inclusive, quirky representation of how a community sees itself and how it wishes to be seen by others.
A quick straw poll taken down at my local watering hole, saw most people in favour of a Big Thing in principle, even throwing up a couple of possible options.
Surprisingly, the ‘Big Bogan’ has already been taken, claimed by the town of Nyngan in NSW, where local opinion is divided on the merits of the popular money-spinning tourist attraction that draws in thousands of cashed-up bogans to the annual Big Bogan Street Festival.
Admittedly, we already have a couple of big things in the neighbourhood. The Heavenly Queen Temple, situated within the Joseph Road precinct by the Maribyrnong River in Footscray, is home to Mazu, the striking Goddess of the sea. Her beautiful, lusty golden figure shines down benevolently on residents. As splendid as she is, Mazu appears a little lost and lonely.
Meanwhile, Victoria’s Big Build authority has gifted our community a giant curved colossus, in the guise of a ventilation exhaust stack that sits gracefully on the horizon, but surely, we deserve more than just hot (toxic) air!
There is enthusiastic support for a massive rotating Big Bahn Mi in Footscray, perched directly above Nhu Lan Bakery in Hopkins Street. Equipped with a special added feature that continuously pumps out a fine pungent mist of sweet chilli garlic and coriander over a line of peckish customers queuing below.
The Big Syringe shouldn’t be discarded either, reimagined as a giant mechanical water fountain located in the forecourt of the new Footscray Hospital, symbolising medical expertise while also holding space for a more compassionate understanding of local illicit street culture, challenging perceptions and reducing stigma.
There’s lots of love for the Iris Dixon Veloway. The new state-of-the-art cycleway, suspended high above Footscray Road, has proven an instant hit, bringing an influx of cyclists from across the country to visit the area and ride along this innovative cycle only expressway. Tourists in the neighbourhood, who would have thought?
Perhaps it’s time for Footscray to think big and commission a BIG BICYCLE! as our preferred Big Thing, a towering two-wheeled push-bike straddling the width of Shepherds Bridge, at the gateway to Footscrazy.
I reckon cycling tourists will swarm to the opening of the BIG BICYCLE as part of the proposed “Footscray Veloway Festival”. If we build it, they really will come, and in their thousands! That’s not to say we couldn’t also have the Big Syringe and the Big Bahn Mi, too.
What’s your choice for Footscray’s next big thing?
