ASK PETE – MARCH 2015


    Ask Pete – Your first world problems solved!

    Tired of constantly recharging your devices? Astro turf won’t grow? Forgot your neighbour’s name? Pete tackles your conundrums for March!

    Pete, we have a DV recorder which lets us tape two programs at a time and watch a third, yet my partner insists on watching their favourites while simultaneously taping them. I never get a look in. Am I being unreasonable by complaining?

    Chris, Altona

    Pete says: “What you should do is… Apply the same ‘have their cake and eat it too’ behaviour your partner is displaying to other aspects of your daily life, and see how they like it! For example, insist on ironing their clothes while they’re still wearing them, or perhaps take their meals away and put them in the fridge after they’ve only taken one bite? OK so I accept that this behaviour may seem a little childish, but your point will be made in a fun, playful way. And if that doesn’t work, just take the batteries out of the remote and tell them in a solemn tone that 7Mate has unfortunately just cancelled Pimp My Ride and re-runs of Bounty Hunter, and that you’ll have to watch something else…

    Pete I’m a bit stressed out by these new ‘super’ razors. When they brought out double blades I was a bit wary, then came the triples and I was nervous as hell, now you can get razors with four blades, and I’m down right trembling! Where does this pursuit of the perfect shave end?

    Colin, Kingsville

    Pete says: “What you should do is… Create a mega-razor with 10 blades! A razor that not only gives you the Holy Grail of shaves every time, but with blades that never go blunt! You’ll be so far ahead of the curve you’ll be able to employ a personal attendant to shave you, and will never have to stare down a ‘safety’ razor again. Speaking of curves, you may have noticed I too have a dome in need of tending daily. Make the mega blade happen, and you’ll have celebrities like myself, Bruce Willis and Chris Judd as customers for life!”

    Hi Pete, I was recently invited to a BBQ at a friend’s place, but when I arrived his wanky mates started picking on the beer I’d brought. I thought VB was meant to be “the best cold beer for a hard earned thirst” – am I missing something?

    Clark, Newport

    Pete says: “What you should do is… hang your head in shame. VB hasn’t been the “go to” beer in inner-west circles since Dennis Lillee tripped over his own moustache on the way to the public bar for a frothy and counter-lunch. Not to say they weren’t better days though, simpler choices in life and work (and beer). In fact I feel for you my friend, and to make matters worse, these ‘mates’ haven’t earned a thirst at all – they’re probably all social media strategists or app developers! Back in my day you’d build a pergola before lunch, and no-one cracked a can until the Esky was so cold, the taste of that awful, swill-flavoured beer was masked by a glacier of ice, gliding slowly down your throat!

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