Is this what homeownership does to people?
No Standing, No Stopping, No Parking of Sunshine writes,
Dear Westie, When I was a renter, I was carefree. Like a devil-may-care gypsy wanderer, I danced through the world without a care for property, boundaries or territory. I had no roots, no claim to the land I lived on, and no real awareness of edges, rights and titles.
But since becoming a homeowner, I’ve changed. And not for the better. I’ve become boundary obsessed. I can sense when the neighbour’s apple tree is about to shed leaves and wrinkly old fruit on my side of the fence. I can almost hear the tan bark in the front of the other neighbour’s house drift across on to my lawn. Now that I have put down roots I have become rooted – in all the negatives senses of that word.
I’m particularly obsessed with people parking in front of my house in MY parking spot. And yes, I know it’s not actually MY parking spot, but it also is – If that makes sense (I know it doesn’t).
Whenever I see someone else’s car outside my house the obsessive thoughts start: What if they block the bins? What if I have to park on the other side of the street like some kind of parking peasant? What if they slam their car door at 6am as they drive off and wake me up? What if they’re casing the joint? What if they never leave?
Is this what homeownership does to people?
I want my old carefree renter-self back. Is there a cure for this madness, or am I doomed to spend the next thirty years peering through my curtains like old Missus Jessup?
Congratulations, NSNSNPOS, you’ve discovered the dark secret of homeownership: the second you sign those papers, a tiny, rage-filled property demon takes up residence in your brain.
Here’s the truth: you’re not getting the chill back. That ship has sailed. You’re now hardwired to care about things that objectively don’t matter. It’s like becoming a parent—once you’ve crossed that threshold, you can’t unknow what you know about bin night etiquette and boundary disputes.
But here’s the good news: everyone else on your street is exactly as mental as you are. It’s a circle of irrational territorial rage, and you’re all in it together.
My advice? Lean into it. Buy some binoculars. Start a spreadsheet of repeat offenders. Join your local Facebook group and post passive-aggressive queries about ‘parking courtesy.’ You’ll fit right in.
Or, park around the corner, pretend the extra walk is exercise, and save yourself the aneurysm. But we both know you won’t do that.
From last edition
Last month we discussed the issue of whether ACDC are nothing more that a cover band, now that Angus is the only original member left. We expected a barrage of correspondence in response to that but, Hells Bells, we got nothing. Perhaps you were Thunder Struck by the concept. Maybe you were stuck in traffic on the Highway to Hell that is summer holiday traffic. Who knows. Either way, we’re Back in Black (and white) for 2026 and we look forward to hearing from you soon!
