Doggie Doo Doo Don’ts
‘Not in My Backyard, Nor On My Nature Strip’ of Yarraville writes:
Several times a week, someone let’s their dog drop a deuce on the nature strip outside my house. I never see them, nor do I see the doo doo, until I step in it – and I always step in it! My shoes are ruined, I get doo doo on my rug. I’m at the end of my tether! How do I get these people to scoop their poop?
I hear you NIMBYNOMNS. I have experienced the same thing. Australian dogs drop the weight of the Harbour Bridge in soft Chokitos each month – most of it, it seems, on your and my nature strips.
One dog in particular seems to know exactly where I park, dropping its dirty biscuits right where I plant my foot when getting out of the car each day.
Like you, I rage impotently, hoping against hope that I might one day catch these doggie doo doo no gooders in the act, but I never do. And, while I will admit to a grudging admiration for the devil-may-care swagger of these avowed poopers – it takes a certain je ne sais quoi to so flagrantly flout the laws of doggie decency – I must also admit that I would happily bag both dog and owner and drop them in the nearest bin should I one day find out who flung the dung. But seriously, other than sitting up on the veranda all night, Deliverance-style, with a torch, a banjo and a beebee gun, installing surveillance cameras the length of the fence or DNA testing the next beagle bagel left outside my door, there’s nothing much I, or you, can do.
Having said that, I am in the middle of brewing a fairly hectic concoction of wasabi and English mustard, with which I shall coat every single blade of grass on my nature strip. That way even if I don’t see the dog or dogs, I, and likely the entire neighbourhood, will hear them
