By Deborah Sugirthakumar
Today, my son is still young.
Our conversations are simple. We talk about being kind, respecting others, using gentle hands, saying “no” politely, accepting rejection without getting angry, and solving problems without hurting anyone.
These may seem like small lessons, but I believe they are some of the most important lessons a child can learn.
As he grows older, our conversations will change.
One day I will tell him, ‘If you ever love a woman and your relationship faces problems, ask for help. Talk to someone you trust. Walk away if you need to. But never hurt her. Not with your hands, your words or by trying to control her.’
Domestic and family violence is never love. Love should never cause fear, pain or harm. A healthy relationship is built on respect, trust, honesty and kindness, even during difficult times.
I also want my son to understand that every woman deserves to feel safe, respected and valued. Not because she is someone’s daughter, sister, wife or mother, but because every person deserves to be treated with dignity.
Too often, we talk about preventing domestic violence after children have grown into adults. But by then, many attitudes and behaviours have already been formed.
Respect does not suddenly appear when someone becomes an adult. It begins in childhood. Children learn by watching the people around them. They notice how adults treat each other, how they deal with anger and disappointment, and how they solve disagreements.
That is why parents, grandparents, teachers, coaches, and communities all have an important role. Every conversation about kindness, respect and responsibility helps shape the next generation.
Teaching boys these values is not about believing they will become violent. It is about helping them grow into men who understand that real strength is shown through self-control, empathy and respect for others.
Governments, police and support services all play an important role in responding to domestic and family violence. But prevention starts much earlier. It starts at home, around the dinner table, on the school playground and in everyday conversations with our children.
If we truly want to reduce domestic and family violence, we must do more than respond when harm has already happened. We must teach our children, from their earliest years what healthy relationships look like and how to treat others with respect.
Simple conversations with children today can help build a safer Australia tomorrow.
