More

    ASK PETE – YOUR FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS SOLVED!

    Date:

    Diligently solving the first world problems of the inhabitants of the inner-west.

    Pete this might seem stupid but to me it’s a big deal. I ordered a burger with the lot at my local fish and chip shop, they then asked me if I wanted pineapple and beetroot for an extra $2. Clearly the offering was NOT for a burger with “the lot”. False advertising, or does my chipper just not understand their own products!

    Simon, Newport (via Email)

    Not a stupid question at all Simon, I too am often left suitably confused by the offerings of my local fryer. I mean, apart from the misnomer of the phrase “minimum chips” which clearly, if adhered to the letter would result in the sale and purchase of one single chip – let’s face it you can’t get any fewer than that – I’ve also noticed they also sell something called “Crab stick” when clearly crabs have no such appendage. But anyway Simon, when it comes to a so-called burger with the lot, I guess it’s just another practical reminder that there must be distinct and sensible boundaries in the food industry, otherwise your burger technically would come with beef, egg, cheese, onion, tomato and lettuce – as you would expect – but also they’d have to include everything else they sold, in order to qualify as “the lot”. Just try to picture a burger with a dim sim, battered sausage, fake calamari ring, potato cake, and piece of flake all crammed in as well. I can hear your arteries hardening from here!


    I feel a bit bad about this, but recently I put an old suitcase from my garage onto our nature strip as a freebie, a bit dusty, but basically OK. Just as I zipped it up I noticed a redback spider crawl out from under the handle and into one of the compartments. Guiltily, I still put the case out, and by morning it was gone. Am I a bad person Pete?

    Jonathon, Seddon (via Facebook Messenger)

    Jonathon I am a firm believer in caveat emptor. Partly because saying it allows me to show off my Latin, but also because it means “buyer beware” or in this case, scavenger beware! We all know that nature-strips are the neighbourhood “free zone”, but nowhere does it say they are a guaranteed bug-free zone! Let potential scroungers do their due diligence on your crusty old portmanteau (a fancy French word for luggage) and thereafter “quis erit, erit” – what will be, will be. Sleep well dear Jonathon…

    Contributor
    Contributor
    Our content is a labour of love, crafted by dedicated volunteers who are passionate about the west. We encourage submissions from our community, particularly stories about your own experiences, family history, local issues, your suburb, community events, local history, human interest stories, food, the arts, and environmental matters. Below are articles created by community contributors. You can find their names in the bylines.

    Did you know?

    It's hard to find local stories because major news suppliers have economised by cutting local journalism. In addition, social media algorithms mean we have to work doubly hard to be seen.

    If you loved reading this article please consider donating to the Westsider. Support from you gives local writers an outlet and ensures an independent voice can be found in the west.

    If you're a business or community group, consider advertising in print or online, or becoming a community partner.

    Your feedback

    Please enter your comment!
    Please enter your name here

     

    Share

    Latest Articles

    Related articles