Fostering emotional intelligence in boys and why it matters

Date:

By Deborah Sugirthakumar

As 2025 begins, addressing family violence remains a pressing challenge. At the heart of this mission is fostering emotional intelligence (EI) in boys to build healthier relationships and break cycles of violence. Emotional intelligence, the ability to understand and manage emotions, is not just innate; it is a skill that can and must be cultivated.  

Research underscores the importance of EI in preventing violent behaviors. Studies published in the Journal of Family Psychology reveal that individuals with higher EI are less likely to engage in aggressive behavior and more likely to resolve conflicts peacefully. For boys, teaching emotional intelligence offers a chance to shift away from societal norms that equate masculinity with emotional suppression. A lack of emotional expression has been linked to frustration, aggression, and interpersonal issues in adulthood (American Psychological Association, 2023). 

Prominent psychologists like Daniel Goleman emphasise that EI is a learned skill, developed through intentional teaching and modeling. This perspective offers hope: by equipping boys with empathy, self regulation, and emotional awareness, we can create a foundation for safer and more respectful communities.  


Practical strategies for developing emotional intelligence

1. Model healthy communication 

Children emulate adults. Parents and educators must model constructive expression of emotions, show empathy, and resolve conflicts respectfully. According to research from Harvard University’s Center on the Developing Child, children who witness positive communication are more likely to replicate these behaviors.

2. Foster empathy through role playing 

Activities that encourage boys to step into another’s perspective can deepen their understanding of emotions. Studies in the Journal of Child Development demonstrate that empathy building exercises can reduce aggression and increase prosocial behavior.  

3. Encourage open conversations

Safe, nonjudgmental spaces are crucial. Regular check-ins with boys, asking questions like “What made you happy today?” help foster emotional awareness. This aligns with findings from the Australian Institute of Family Studies, which highlights open communication as key to emotional development.  

4. Integrate emotional learning into schools

Schools can adopt EI-focused curricula, teaching self-awareness, empathy, and conflict resolution. Research from Education Week shows that such programs reduce bullying and improve peer relationships.  

5. Support Mental Health Services 

Destigmatising mental health support services and making them accessible can significantly impact boys’ emotional development. A report by Beyond Blue notes that early intervention in emotional health prevents long-term psychological issues.  


Ending family violence requires a collective effort to instill empathy, respect, and emotional connection in boys. By cultivating EI, we not only prepare them to face life’s challenges but also take a vital step toward creating homes and communities free from violence.  

Together, let’s ensure that 2025 is the year we build a foundation for lasting change, one boy at a time. 

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