By Kalpana SK
If someone were to ask me ‘Did you know there are parenting courses tailored for multicultural families?’ my answer would be a big fat ‘No!’
Next, if they were to ask me, ‘Would you be interested in doing this course?’ my answer would be slightly less firm with, ‘I don’t think so’.
I have grown up in Australia, and I am used to attending courses that are not tailored to a specific demographic.
It is not something I bat an eyelid at. In the many courses I have done the content resonated with me regardless of my background. So, I wondered, why would we need parenting courses for multicultural families?
As fate would have it, I ended up doing an interview with counsellor, facilitator and program designer Bimba Chavan. She works at the intersection of creativity and mental health facilitating culturally responsive conversations about well-being with communities of colour through her work at Unhyphen Psychology & Headspace National, a youth mental health organisation.
I expected cliched answers from Bimba that were pre-set in my mind, ‘We teach how to incorporate Indian values into your family’ and ‘These programs are tailored only for people who have recently migrated to Australia.’
Better yet, maybe these courses would teach me what Indian values ought to be. The fact that these courses existed was leaving me puzzled. How had I never known of them?
In the general chat leading up to the interview, Bimba seemed really passionate about her work. This kind of passion can’t exist without a cause, I thought.
As I sat down to do the interview, a sense of curiosity was growing within me.
The Parenting Better Program
There is a four-week program called The Parenting Better program run by Unhyphen, which is a not-for-profit mental health organisation founded by Smruthy Nair (Psychologist & Consultant), who is also one of the facilitators of the program along with Bimba. This program allows space for discussion and resolution of the unseen struggles immigrant families face.
Bimba, through her work in this field has identified a gap in the parenting programs being offered in Australia – not all of them incorporate culturally informed approaches and values held by multicultural communities.
Therefore, this program is unique. It is facilitated by South Asian facilitators and provides culturally-specific content for participants. Topics covered in these workshops are guided by the experiences of the participants. However, there are emerging themes and commonalities in the issues multicultural families face.
Common parenting issues faced by multicultural families
Single Parents
Bimba shares that, out of eight workshops that have been run by Unhyphen, three parents (two single mums and one single dad) were divorced in Australia due to family violence. Whilst moving to Australia empowers people to leave unhealthy marriages, there is still a stigma associated – the stigma of single parenting.
A lot of safety practices are in place during the workshop to ensure participants feel safe at all times. For example, if the stories being shared are too traumatic, then the participants can leave the room and return when they are ready.
Facilitators also do not force people who have gone through a divorce to share their journey, it is up to the participants. They have found single parents are often looking for support and a non-judgemental environment. So a one-on-one follow-up is often offered at the end of the workshop.
Race-based discrimination
Bimba tells me, this type of discrimination can be obvious or subtle. Increasing the parents’ awareness plays a key role.
Often parents share stories of their children experiencing race-based discrimination. They share that their children want to be, look like, and imitate Caucasians.
Facilitators first deal with this by naming it: naming the experiences children are having as discrimination. Sometimes what comes up for parents is that they too are experiencing discrimination, and that can be hard to come to terms with.
They focus on participants having new and increased mental health vocabulary, so that the participants are aware of what is happening to them.
Lack of awareness of support systems
Bimba mentions that sometimes new immigrant families do not have enough awareness of the health systems. For example, the general GP system is not something participants are aware of, as well as support systems in place for general mental health well-being.
Participants are sometimes also unaware of the professional networks and support they have access to. For example, resume writing – in which case the stressors are around getting a new job.
Without knowing all the support systems in place, added stress can be experienced.
Immigrant fathers and parenting roles
Bimba highlights that when it comes to parenting, there is often conflict around gender norms in some of the immigrant families she has worked with.
Sometimes the parenting gender norm in the home country is different to that in Australia, and this can make fathers feel displaced and unsupported.
Facilitators have found in some cases that fathers did not know how to handle the changes in parenting roles, and would often regress to their ancestral patterns. Fathers who struggle with the new parenting gender norms would
often speak
about feeling
belittled.
Generational gap
Bimba talks about issues faced by second or third-generation migrants, and their understanding of their ancestry in line with when their parents or grandparents left their home country.
They see parenting conflicts between (being) too Indian and too Australian.
Participants talk about wanting to take the best of both worlds: they pick and choose. For example, participants try to make meaning of Indian values they were taught as kids, as they parent their own children now.
The stigma associated with enrolment
Bimba shares that there is a stigma around embracing one’s own unique migrant identity, the journey, and story that brings people here.
An added stressor to this is that traditionally in South Asian countries there is no concept of parenting programs. Instead, there is the community expectation that ‘You should know what to do as a parent.’ As for attending a program people will say ‘We don’t need to.’
Can busy parents make time for it?
Yes, is the short answer, says Bimba. This course can be done online, in person, or in a hybrid format.
The session times and duration of the course can also be tailored to suit time specific needs of particular communities. For example, in her previous role with Relationships Australia, some courses were run during school drop-offs at local schools, including while children were at language schools.
Bimba ends with, “by doing parenting courses that are focused on multicultural families, the experiences are shared across race, identity, and migration journeys”.
Final thoughts
To my surprise, the more I asked, the more I was hooked. What started off as an honest scepticism, landed with newfound wisdom. I could not ignore the knowledge that I had gained. It left me with a lot to think about and in search of more.
I found that Relationships Australia runs multiple multicultural parenting courses in Victoria and the parenting between cultures course in Western Australia, and FocusConnect runs some in New South Wales.
The Parenting Better program, co-facilitated by Bimba, is run by people of colour for people of colour and gives access to culturally-specific resources. In addition, the content and discussion of this course is tailored specifically for multicultural families.
This experience has given me insight into a world I didn’t even know existed. It’s made me aware of the very real struggles for multicultural families.
The issues migrant parents face have been a real eye-opener for me. It made me wonder – when my parents first moved to Australia, what was it like for them to parent me?
Kalpana SK is the parenting content lead at SAARI Collective. She is an author, yoga teacher and sports enthusiast. She loves all things parenting, and has a keen interest in children’s wellbeing – a passion that she attributes to her two beautiful kids. You can follow her work here and on Instagram.
This article was first published on SAARI Collective. https://saaricollective.com.au/south-asian-parenting-hub/
