By Qaima Chatha
The English language is quite fascinating, and ever evolving, especially when you discover new words that hold such deep meaning such as… sonder.
Sonder comes to me in flashes, in the moments when I’m not trying to understand anything at all.
It happens in the ordinary midst of life, watching someone adjust their bag or scroll on their phone. They have expressions that change so quickly. I don’t know their name. I don’t know their story. But in a sudden realisation I feel their world brushing against mine.
Sometimes it’s the person who laughs loudly at a joke I’ll never know.
Sometimes it’s a kid dragging their feet, a brain of stories I’ll never hear.
Sometimes it’s someone with tired eyes whose experiences I’ll never experience.
I catch these eagerly. They’re small, fragile things, glimpses into lives I’ll never enter…
At the station I watched a woman tap her foot in a rhythm that only she could make sense of. I wondered what she was thinking. What she was waiting for. I only saw her briefly and yet those seconds of her world against mine stayed with me longer than people I’ve known.
Another time I saw a girl, tracing patterns on her sleeve, patterns only her eyes could see. I’ll never know what she was holding together, never know the meaning of those patterns but I did feel her quiet strength even from my distance.
And then there are cinematic moments, moments that make life feel like a movie. A stranger who smiles at their phone, the person wiping their eyes when no one is looking, a group of friends laughing like the world is theirs.
Every one of them has a story as complicated and layered as mine.
Every one of them has a story I’ll never hear.
Every one of them a main character I’ll never read about.
There are also the rare times someone’s universe opens enough for you to take a peek but never step inside, because sonder makes the world feel bigger.
But it also makes it gentler.
I know they matter.
I know they’re living, trying, hoping, hurting, loving just like me.
And once you start noticing, it becomes impossible to stop…
And that is the concept of sonder.
