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Jay and Pamela

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by Shannon Meilak

Jay and Pamela is an unapologetically candid reality show that follows the lives of an engaged couple with disability—Jay, a trans man who is also Autistic, and Pamela—as they navigate love, life, and everything in between. Both have Osteogenesis Imperfecta Type 3 (OI), but the show doesn’t focus solely on their diagnoses. Instead, it portrays them as whole people, exploring their relationship, challenges, and joys with nuance and intimacy.

Unlike shows that infantilise disabled adults or use them as inspiration porn, Jay and Pamela offers a refreshingly honest portrayal. Topics like family rifts, power dynamics, sexuality, and even sex are discussed without shame or pity. From Pamela being described as a ‘freak in the sheets’ to Jay’s story about his ‘pecker’ falling in the toilet, the series embraces authenticity and humour.

As a disabled and neurodivergent viewer, I found the show powerful—not because it presents us as inspirational, but because it shows our creativity, resilience, and humanity. It reminds audiences that disabled people are sexual, complex, and capable of meaningful relationships. Our experiences may differ, but our desires, goals, and need for connection are universal.

Jay and Pamela does not ask the audience to feel bad for people with disability, it instead challenges viewers to rethink their assumptions and to push for a society where people with disability are truly seen, respected, and included. 

Screening: Foxtel and MAX, Rating: M

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