By Lian Armstrong
I grew up in the working-class suburbs of western Melbourne and first experienced depression when I was 18 years old. That was the year I also wound up in a hospital with a diagnosis of psychosis.
This was when I also dropped out of high-school. I was in a very dark place and I was basically doing nothing with my life except dealing with what is now understood to be a ‘prodrome of psychosis’ which eventually led to schizophrenia.
I wound up in a mental health ward twice before I turned 21. This disability kept me from being confident in myself and happy.
There are many myths about schizophrenia. People think we are; violent, experience multiple personalities, not capable of working, a hopeless case that doesn’t belong in society and should instead be in a mental hospital.
I’m here to clarify that these are misunderstandings, and if they do occur, are very rare.
I believe that education from primary school age is necessary to normalise mental health issues, and help foster the acceptance and support of people going through their unique situations.
This starts at home too. Families should not neglect kin simply because they don’t understand people dealing with different types of mental health conditions.
I’ve had dark moments in my life – dealing with depression and becoming almost completely mute because I was afraid to talk to people in case I said something rude or offensive or because of the disabling effects of schizophrenia.
What really helped and saved me in the end were the meaningful relationships I made joining a mental health group, giving me the opportunity to open up and finally talk to an understanding audience.
At one point I stopped taking antidepressants for my depression because I thought I was getting better. To be honest I did not want people to know I had mental health issues because of the stigma associated. In my mind I thought that if I didn’t take meds I would be more sane like everyone else. To my dismay, the halting of medication actually made things worse and I was soon hospitalised again and back on the medication.
I wondered what was happening to me and what my future looked like. If I could I would tell the younger me that life is too short to worry about what everyone else thinks about me. That I am worthy and not crazy, and to just focus on doing what makes me happy.
I’m still learning to love myself just as I am, disability and all, which is how society should rather than shunning those of us who are different.
Schizophrenia is a permanent condition with no known cure. I can only hope, wait and pray that things will get better for people suffering from mental health issues in the future and that we get more acceptance from society. Because this is becoming a more common health condition that can affect anyone. It also affects the people close to those who suffer from the condition.
In a bid to reduce the stigma I feel we as a community need to talk about it in a frank and understandable manner so that no one is left in the dark.
I have been bullied just because I have a disability; strangers on public transport calling me coo coo and not understanding that I’m doing it tough. Not acknowledging that I was going through a difficult time and really suffering a lot. Their hurtful words didn’t help and made me even madder.
If you have schizophrenia, or any mental health issues, reach out to those who have similar experiences because you will feel a sense of belonging and not so alone in the world. This really helped me, indeed saved me, because I wasn’t alone anymore. I had friends.
Find online groups you associate yourself with like mental health groups, photography groups or whatever interests you.
Don’t be afraid to reach out to someone who is suffering from mental health issues – even if you don’t have one – because you might just create a meaningful relationship and have meaningful conversations.
I know that wherever I go I’ll be holding up the flag with confidence and strength to represent us as a people – the marginalised and misunderstood. It’s up to the rest of you to salute that flag.
If any of these issues have affected you please contact SANE Australia, Mind Australia for family/carer support, Voices Vic, and GROW Australia for 12-step peer support.
