By Teah Mogae
She was a new patient to the clinic. She sat in the waiting room wearing sunglasses. As I called her name, she rigidly stood up and made her way towards me. I smiled to introduce myself during our brief walk to the consultation room and she nodded in acknowledgement. Sitting down, I enquired as to what had brought her in for a consultation. She took her sunglasses off and only then did I see her black eye and associated red puffy eyes consistent with someone who had been crying but also likely a victim of assault.
Trying to maintain my professional demeanour, I enquired further. “Sorry to have to meet you under these circumstances Dr Teah but I could not go to my usual GP because he has never believed me when I told him what my husband was doing to me behind closed doors,” she said as she started sobbing. “My GP believed a man couldn’t rape his wife and because he was my family GP, he just didn’t believe that the calm family man who would often present with me could cause me harm without any provocation likely from me,” she said as her sobs grew louder. “I am here to document my story and injuries, and I am hoping I will eventually have the strength to leave him once I have saved some money for the kids and I.”
On further discussion and examination it was clear she was a victim of domestic violence, gradually realising the impact of coercive control she had been living under for the 15 years of her marriage. With the escalation of abuse, she had started to make an exit strategy. She was not keen to include the police yet and did not want to have any forensic assessment, so with some support, we were able to illustrate and take pictures of her injuries for our medical records to hopefully support her should she ever feel confident and ready to commence legal proceedings.
It was only after she left, when I went to the tea room, that I realised it was International Women’s Day. With purple and green cupcakes spread out for morning tea, we were meant to reflect on women’s health and wellbeing, and the progress made since inception of the day in 1911 when only eight countries allowed women to vote. Despite awareness and progress, with women now not only voting, but leading countries and corporations, working outside the home, and having reproductive choices, we were still largely second-class citizens with one woman dying at the hands of their intimate partner a week in Australia and domestic violence being very prevalent in our still largely patriarchal society. On reflection, I hoped that it was not the last time I saw her, and that the next time I interacted with her file it wouldn’t be due to a coroner’s request or an inquest. Only time would tell.
