ASK PETE: YOUR FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS SOLVED

By  |  0 Comments

Problem (noun): a matter or situation regarded as unwelcome or harmful and needing to be dealt with and overcome…

Hi Pete, I know you listen to our woes, but here’s one I haven’t seen in your column before – what do you do when yoga is cancelled! Happened to me on Sunday morning!

Sue, Seddon (Facebook message)

Oh Sue, believe me I know what happens when YOGA IS CANCELLED. I feel a tremor reverberate through our leafy suburbs that sits somewhere between a disturbance in the force, and a wobble in Doc Brown’s space-time continuum. Then the questions begin; “Where will I practice downward dog?” and “What if I never achieve headstand?“ and of course, “When will I get to wear my new LuLulemon top now?” Yes Sue, we’ve all been there, shivering in the cold, peeking through locked studio doors and wondering where our next fix of physical and spiritual goodness will come from. The feeling of desertion from our fully-flexible guru lingers far longer than the satisfaction of heading to the nearest cafe and inhaling a ham and cheese croissant, washed down with a full-fat strong latte. My advice? Ditch Sunday morning yoga and just make the café your new ritual!


Pete I was in my regular the other morning when a husband and wife came in all flustered. She ordered a soy latte and complained that the brioche wasn’t gluten free, while her husband went with bacon and eggs on toast with extra butter, a side of black pudding, and a hot chocolate. How do couples like this stay together?

Jacqui, South Kingsville (via email)

Jacqui you are clearly – like myself – a keen observer of society, and a swift judge and jury of its people. But did you pause for a moment to think that maybe – MAYBE – these two individuals were not actually a couple? All you witnessed was them enter a cafe at the same time. Perhaps they were “flustered” because they arrived at the entrance simultaneously, yet neither would yield to politeness and hold the door open for the other. Or perhaps one of them expected the other to employ some sort of historical, stereotypical role play and open the door for them? Wait – I’ve got it! Maybe this couple were actually a POWER couple, and reluctantly hitting your local cafe after YOGA WAS CANCELLED! (In which case, see fabulous solution above)


Pete I don’t know if you are on Facebook, but if you are, check out some of the local Buy-Swap-Sell (BSS) groups and look out for ‘recommendations’. Every single bloody poster wants the best plumber, electrician or general handyman on the face of the planet, yet the words “…but must be cheap” always follow. Does my head in. Do people still not understand you get what you pay for?

Samantha, Williamstown North (via Facebook messenger)

Samantha, of course I am on Facebook! And yes, I’m a member of ALL of those local BSS groups. Why? Well I’m just hanging out for a request for a recommendation like “Looking for an excellent solver of modern day issues that won’t charge an arm and a leg…” In the event of which I will naturally respond with “I know an excellent one that is free!”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *